Though he slay me, I will hope in him; yet I will argue my ways to his face. (Job 13:15)
Most scholars believe Job is the oldest book of the Bible, its’ story predating the law and prophets, teaching the ancient Hebrews and all readers throughout time who this God of gods is – even before covenant and law – and spelling out again an even more ancient battle between good and evil (our first introduction being the Garden of Eden).
In Job’s words, I hear many things: the heartbreaking confusion of someone who has lived a life that pleased God but encountered evil in the form of intense pain and suffering; the persistent faith of that same heart; and a cry for understanding. Rather than “argue,” the KJV says, “but I will maintain mine own ways before him” meaning that Job honestly doesn’t understand why these calamities have come upon him. He has searched his heart, believes he is innocent of wrongdoing, and cannot think of anything he must change or confess. He will just keep on walking as he has, trusting God will help and has not abandoned.
Job is tempted, as we are, to attribute the beating he receives to the hand of God, because he doesn’t know about the conversation that has taken place between God and Satan concerning his integrity. Satan has spotted a strong heart, and asks permission to break it down. Satan attempts to shame God with language he knows so well – “surely you don’t believe….” He essentially calls God foolish for believing he is loved. But God knows Job’s heart and it beats after his own, and God allows the test because he believes Job will not fail to love him nor malign his character – God does not believe himself a fool!
I ponder the words of Job, “though he slay me, I will hope in him,” and wonder if Rabbi Jesus, having committed most of the Old Testament to memorization, might have pondered the painful confession of Job as he climbed up that hill with a cross on his torn back. And when he cried out, “My God, why have you forsaken me,” did he want to blame the all-powerful Father who could have allowed this cup of wrath to pass if he had only chosen? Did he know of conversations in the council of God, and requests of Evil to break his own strong heart? If he did, we don’t know about it. What we do know is that he, like Job, tested pure at every flaming arrow the enemy threw. After the brutal crucifixion, “Into your hands I commit my spirit,” sounds a little like, “Though he slay me, yet I will trust in him (KVJ),” doesn’t it?
Even when understanding, logic, theory, science, and flesh fail – and they will – Jesus, like Job, believed that God was good and could be trusted. And that is a journey we all face as we move closer to the cross and further from all that makes sense.
Prayer: God, ancient and post-modern, you have not shifted and changed with cultures that have come and gone. You are loving and trusting, and desire to be loved and trusted in return. Thank you for these stories that inspire us when the way is painful and steep. We may never know the reason for suffering, but we can know more about your great heart if you will reveal it to us. Speak, for your servants are listening.
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