El Roi

SCRIPTURE: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 1 John 3:20

THOUGHT: It was a tough day yesterday and I am wrestling with my old buddy ambivalence. Warring feelings, including condemnation, swirl around inside. I should feel happy, but it is mixed with anger. I should feel love, but it is mixed with betrayal and pain and loss. I should be confident in God, but it is mixed with doubt and self-condemnation. I was grateful that this verse floated up for me; grateful to hear John’s assurance that God is greater than all the messed up world and messed up emotions and messed up relationships. He knows it all, he sees it all, he is still a compassionate God who understands the territory of the heart.

PRAYER: El Roi, the God who sees me, thank you that I am not left alone, abandoned in a desert wasteland without water. There is a well of living water you refresh inside me (Jn. 7:38), and I wait.

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Blogger Amy Clemens is the author of Walking When You’d Rather Fly: Meditations on Faith After the Fall. In it she explores childhood sexual abuse and how it impacted her faith (or lack thereof) for four decades. You’ll find not only her story, but better yet, the Big Story of God.

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