SCRIPTURE: Your words were found and I ate them, And Your words became for me a joy and the delight of my heart; For I have been called by Your name, O Lord God of hosts. I did not sit in the circle of merrymakers, Nor did I exult. Because of Your hand upon me I sat alone, For You filled me with indignation. Jeremiah 15:16-17 NASB1995
THOUGHT: Sometimes when we eat God’s words and drink from his fountain, it has a strange effect on us. What used to be fun, isn’t. What used to be funny, doesn’t entertain. It’s as if we’ve tasted gourmet food for the first time and the drive through has lost its savor. Or seen a perfect sunset in Maui and the crowded bar seems suddenly oppressive. We want to find such perfection again and again, but it’s rare and fleeting, and watching others party it up seems jarring.
Perhaps you’ve been looking around at culture or the news and it’s just ceased to amuse you. I’m sure you can still find sources of joy outside of God’s word, or maybe because of God’s word you have friends and a family who love God too, and that’s wonderful. But when Jeremiah (aka the weeping prophet) began to eat God’s words, he got a belly full of delight and heartache all mixed up together. It was as if the complete joy of belonging to God put every other slice of life in stark relief. Disappointment was thick. Indignation at sin and ignorance of God became his cry.
Jeremiah was what we call sidelined, or in a better light, set apart for God’s purposes. It made him different and many times lonely as he contrasted what he knew with the culture God asked him to speak into. Because of Your hand upon me I sat alone. Sometimes that’s just the way it is. Good news: God’s hand is upon us; bad news: nothing lesser will ever taste good again.
PRAYER: Your hand upon me has wrecked me for this world, Lord. I don’t mean that there’s not joy and gratitude, and even happiness, but there’s always disappointment and indignation in the mix if I’m honest. Help me as I navigate this strange mix of being in the world but not of it.
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Blogger Amy Clemens is the author of Walking When You’d Rather Fly: Meditations on Faith After the Fall. In it she explores childhood sexual abuse and how it impacted her faith (or lack thereof) for four decades. You’ll find not only her story, but better yet, the Big Story of God.
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