Tenderhearted Much?

SCRIPTURE:  Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV

THOUGHT: I wanted to write a devotional about being tenderhearted. Maybe in the end it will turn out that way, but first Paul presents all the words that can work tender hearts to pulp.

If you’ve ever been overwhelmed by anger – felt it roaring right out of the middle of your body, you know it can be a visceral experience. But did you know it’s almost always a secondary emotion? Wrath and anger are easy, you don’t have to dig around and answer a bunch of hard questions, you don’t need to care about others, you just let it take over.

Proverbs 25:28 says: “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” If your walls are broken, you can’t contain whatever it is that is really goading you – so, in essence, you go around trying to break other people’s walls down. Bitterness and slander and malice all have the same trajectory. They speak forcefully of things that have never been mended – of walls that are broken and strategies to protect, like a wounded animal lashing out as someone attempts to help it.

Now, before you get excited, saying well, I don’t ever do that, let me mention that on the other end of the spectrum are those who protect their hearts by being “nice.” You know the kind of nice I mean. Candy coated. Insecure. Risk-avoidant. Anger turned inward.

We’re all born tender-hearted, but life has a way of testing hearts, doesn’t it? I used to tell my girls whenever something hard happened, “I know you’re hurting, but keep your heart open,” but I think it was futile because children have to find a way of dealing with whatever hurts. Coping mechanisms. As an adult, by God’s great grace, we begin to unpack what’s in the city with broken down walls. We begin a work of opening our hearts again where they’ve been closed down. We acknowledge that coping mechanisms – like anger, wrath, bitterness, clamor and slander – are choices. We can become tenderhearted, and “put away” those strategies as Paul says. I’ve seen it happen. We can be tough and tender at the same time, all without being angry or bitter.

So, this is a devotion about being tenderhearted after all. The tenderhearted will get hurt, no doubt, and going through life forgiving others as God in Christ forgave you requires an incredibly strong heart. That’s something only God can give, or give you back after life happens.

PRAYER: This journey toward being tenderhearted isn’t for the weak, oh God. It’s hard, but good work. Keep me on the journey of forgiveness. Help me imagine you, Jesus, tenderhearted toward the crowds, the lepers, the demon-possessed, the world, saying that your heart represented your Father’s heart. Rather than being bitter and angry at what life handed you, you made the choice to be tenderhearted, compassionate, forgiving.