Withholding Kindness

SCRIPTURE: He who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty. … For you have now become nothing; you see my calamity and are afraid. Job 6:14, 21 ESV

THOUGHT: There are things in life that call out righteous indignation. They offend until some inner justice meter makes me want to stop and holler—yes holler, with undignified political incorrectness, “What in God’s name?” while overturning tables and throwing small objects.

Job probably fights this temptation while his friends yak — what in God’s name do they not understand about his pain? He has lost seven children in a storm, wealth to thieves, employees to murder, and health to a flesh-rotting disease. They withhold kindness by offering platitudes, and then worse, accusations, that will hopefully silence his unbearable pain, because watching suffering is almost intolerable. If you doubt that, try not to pass a tissue to the next person weeping beside you. Instead take their slobbering, snotty face in your hands and embrace their pain. Hold their eyes with your own and let them weep. Kleenex and platitudes and logic are to soothe yourself, not them.

In the church we are too often uncomfortable with grief, pain, shame, and confessions. People around us are hurting, yet we are tempted like Job’s friends to search for answers we don’t have rather than just hold someone and let them cry, or sit still and listen to their painful stories. We can be part of making it safe for the hurting to find the sanctuary they already occupy. May Job’s conclusion echo in our hearts next time we get uncomfortable: withholding kindness from a friend is forsaking the fear of the Almighty. That’s a pretty big deal.

PRAYER: Oh Father, make me a sanctuary for those who mourn.