SCRIPTURE: Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:8-10 NIV
THOUGHT: In November 2020, after ten months of watching culture and government versus the pandemic, ten months of masking that we could tell was more an issue of looking right than being right, ten months of YouTube church, no eating out, no movie theaters, no public gatherings, no beaches, empty shelves at the grocery stores, insanely roped off aisles at the home improvement store (while the liquor stores and pot dispensaries stayed open), and few if any family gatherings, I entered a new place in my spiritual life.
I wish I could say it was a place of victory, but it seemed (and often seems) a new place of challenge and defeat. After childhood abuse, and the many losses and traumas that came after – vocational, relational, spiritual, economic, even physical – I was beginning to mend. To see redemption of the losses. Then the world went stark raving mad. It was one thing to manage my own neuroses, but I have found it incredibly difficult to stay steady when the world around me is so unstable.
But defeat is a window to faith. It’s a window we have to want to open, but when we find the courage and humility to do so, we can squeeze out into a larger place, a life where man doesn’t make the rules, God does. There is freedom there, and wholeness and peace, but just like so many of the lessons I’ve learned, I have to draw near, washing my hands, purifying my heart, and listening to the Great God of the Universe. We humble ourselves, and he lifts us up.
My life stands as a testimony to this little lesson. It repeats over and over. And while I wish I didn’t need to go through the whole cycle of fear or discouragement or angst or anger before I go, limping, to the place of faith, I’m not home yet. Still, God invites:
Stay awhile with me the world will wait
Make time for my heart and I will speak
I’ll tell you things you don’t know now
Transform your anxious thoughts somehow, so
Stay awhile with meTalk awhile with me before you fly
You’re always in a rush but I have time
Hurry can’t deliver you
But I can find a way right through, if
You talk awhile with meWait for me. Wait for me. Wait on my words of life.
Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me awhile.Breathe deep the air where it is pure
Exchange your doubt and fear for what is sure
The Spirit is alive and well
The gates of hell cannot prevail, so
Breathe deep the airHold onto your faith, nothing is lost
Hold onto me though it is dark
I’m working out what you can’t see
Trust my heart and lean on me, and
Hold onto your faithWait for me. Wait for me. Wait on my words of life.
Amy Clemens “STAY AWHILE” 11/15/20
Stay with me. Stay with me. Stay with me awhile.
PRAYER: Oh God, I choose to wait for you, over and over again. I choose to stay awhile, resting in your great strength.
Dear Reader,
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ABOUT ME:
Blogger Amy Clemens is the author of Walking When You’d Rather Fly: Meditations on Faith After the Fall. In it she explores childhood sexual abuse and how it impacted her faith (or lack thereof) for four decades. You’ll find not only her story, but better yet, the Big Story of God.
Check out Walking When You’d Rather Fly, and learn more about the book and Amy’s other ministries. You will also find her devotional work at Words of Hope.
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