The Little Things: Family

SCRIPTURE:  God sets the lonely in families, he leads out the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land. Psalm 68:6 NIV

THOUGHT: Unfortunately, when you get a bunch of simultaneous saints and sinners together at a holiday meal, there is going to be squabbling along with the gobbling – not from the turkey, of course! But I’d just like to point out that we are often more polite with strangers than with our own family – maybe not the way we wish it was, but a fact nonetheless. That’s because there are more social filters in place when there are guests involved. With our family, there is a lot of ‘taking things for granted.’ We grow accustomed to interactions because we’ve had a thousand of them with that person.

I remember one holiday where my siblings and I made my sister-in-law, a gentle (not fragile!) soul, cry because of an intense and contentious conversation during a devotional of all things. I was given the gift that day of seeing our family from a fresh perspective, and a perspective that I wanted more of, a tender but tough love.

The thought for today is that the family is God’s idea; what we do with it is another thing. God doesn’t set the lonely down in families because they’re perfect. He sets them there to learn about what love really is. So many lonely people have been betrayed or encountered trauma in some way, typically through other people. The truth is if you have been wounded in relationship, you must be healed in relationship – there is no other way. You can try to heal in isolation, but the minute you are again surrounded by people, your healing is going to need some more healing.

Deep friendship and family, where filters and masks can come down, is a gift to what would otherwise boil down to lonely, polite interactions – those kind of surface relationships where you can feel alone in a crowd. God intends us to be unmasked; to be seen and known. Ideally in a Christian home, we have the freedom to work out who we most truly are. To be unruly, or un-politically correct, or imperfect – and still be loved. Challenged perhaps, but deeply loved. God sets the lonely down in families so they learn what love really is. If your family has a long way to go, don’t despair, just keep at it. Seek out healing for yourself and pre-think the holiday gatherings. What is important to you? What is important to God, and to your relationship with God? How can you listen, and love, and still be faithful to what he has done in you? How can you draw in the lonely, lead the prisoners out with singing, and even touch the rebellious, who live way, way out in a sun-scorched land?

PRAYER: Oh God, thank you for your idea for the family. We take it for granted once we have it, but what a gift for lonely souls – what a place to learn about what love truly is.